| It's four p.m. I have been napping and doing walking | | | | donated robes by boiling them with the orange bark |
| meditation since the morning meal. My hut is deep in | | | | from the jackfruit tree (and thus we were treated |
| the forest, situated on the upper end of a massive, | | | | to a hot bath every two weeks!). |
| flat rock, with large, flat rocks on both sides and | | | | There might be a cremation in the afternoon. It's |
| deep ravines separating them (havens for cobras). | | | | 1981, and Thai families lose as many as half their |
| Surrounding everything is dense jungle. The six by | | | | malnourished children to diseases such as malaria, |
| seven foot hut is perched on the customary four | | | | typhoid fever, dengue fever, hepatitis, rabies, |
| stilts, with each stilt fitted with a small pan filled with | | | | dysentery, cholera, malaria, hepatitis, Japanese |
| kerosene to keep out ants and termites. Eight steps | | | | Encephalitis, and snakebites. The cremation fires |
| lead to a small porch at the entrance of the small | | | | remain busy. The first cremation I witnessed involved |
| hut, which has two large windows with shutters to | | | | a small girl, six years old perhaps, so beautiful, her |
| protect me from the heavy storms that would soon | | | | long, black hair combed so carefully with a pink ribbon |
| arrive. It has remained untouched by the fierce | | | | tied on the side. She looked as if she were only |
| lightening so far. | | | | sleeping. |
| The tin roof holds up well during the rains and is clear | | | | I vividly recall the fire becoming extremely hot once |
| of low hanging branches that would invite vipers to | | | | the branches were lit, and in only moments, her shiny |
| drop off trees and become unwelcome guests. Inside | | | | black hair sizzled, and then was gone. Next, the skin |
| on the floor is my lantern and a water jug, and in a | | | | on her face blistered, and was gone as well, exposing |
| corner is a table with a candle and some incense. The | | | | the white skull underneath. The little body blackened |
| solitary adornments on the back wall are a pair of | | | | quickly, its limbs curling up into a fetal position, and |
| geckos, the ever-present foot long lizards that | | | | then it began cooking. The dramatic memory of the |
| consider this hut their home as well. | | | | episode remained with me for weeks, as the monks |
| The floor and walls are made of planks cut from | | | | warned it would, and it was some time before the |
| large trees by villagers using a two-man saw. This is | | | | skulls that appeared on my kuti wall every evening in |
| backbreaking, tedious work for the young village men | | | | the candlelight, departed. |
| who manually cut forty-foot logs end-to-end to make | | | | In those days, the cremation pits consisted of |
| boards. They will work all day without stopping, | | | | nothing more than four long stakes pounded into the |
| except for a few bites of rice and a coke at noon. | | | | ground with the space between filled with stacks of |
| These impoverished villagers give up a great deal of | | | | dry limbs and twigs. The parents would place the |
| their time and resources to support the monks, and I | | | | body of their child on top of the heap, after which |
| vow to work as hard as I could to find the truth so | | | | they would stand stoically by to watch it burn. The |
| that I could somehow repay them. Their generosity | | | | mother would throw candy into the air, and the |
| astounds me. | | | | father, sitting on his heels, would smoke cigarettes. |
| A monk's routine in Thailand varied little no matter | | | | Expressing emotion was not considered appropriate |
| where he stayed. Now, at four o'clock I will carefully | | | | etiquette by the Thais, and yet at times I caught |
| sweep my half-mile path to the main hall so that | | | | glimpses of mothers off by themselves crying quietly. |
| snakes can't hide in the leaves, and then I will join my | | | | It wasn't considered proper to make a spectacle of |
| fellow monks at the well where we each draw a | | | | yourself. |
| bucket of cold water for our bath. This bathing area | | | | The cremation ceremony is over, and I return to my |
| also serves as a meeting place where the monks | | | | hut now. Occasionally we will have a meeting in the |
| meet twice a month to make their brooms for | | | | evening, but usually, I will spend the evening in |
| sweeping the paths and to wash and dye their | | | | meditation, well into the early morning. |