| 3. Dying peacefully | | | | "The other worry is the separation from loved ones, |
| (From a talk by Ajahn Jagaro, the abbot of Wat Pah | | | | from one's possessions. Of course, if we've |
| Nanachat when Janet and I trained in Thailand as a | | | | contemplated this before, it's a lot easier. We know |
| Buddhist monk and nun in 1981) | | | | that to come together implies separation. That's all |
| "Having considered all of this, if dying becomes no | | | | life is, a meeting and a separation. I came to |
| longer a contemplation but an actual experience, we | | | | Melbourne two months ago, in a few days I'll be |
| can face it without fear. Not only can we face it | | | | leaving. That's just the way it is. If we contemplate |
| without fear, we can also do a lot towards dying a | | | | that, it won't be so frightening to us. If a dying |
| good death. If we have led a good life, dying is | | | | person hasn't done this kind of contemplation, then |
| easier. But regardless of how we have lived, we can | | | | you need to gently encourage and reassure him or |
| still endeavour to die a good death. To help in the | | | | her that the children and those left behind will be |
| dying process, we stress very much the | | | | taken care of. They need to be reassured that it's all |
| development of the same quality of fearlessness. | | | | right, that there are friends to take care of them, |
| Death is not to be feared, it's just natural. | | | | they need to be encouraged to relax and be |
| "The fear of death is often connected to the fear of | | | | peaceful, not to worry about other things, that they'll |
| pain. For many people it's more the fear of pain and | | | | all be taken care of. |
| the fear of separation from all that is loved that is | | | | "The whole emphasis is on trying to encourage the |
| fearsome. At the time of dying encouragement and | | | | dying person, be it oneself or another, to become |
| reassurance are essential. For a start you need to | | | | more peaceful. How can you die a good death? By |
| reassure yourself. The pain is difficult to bear, but we | | | | becoming more peaceful. The Buddhist way is to try |
| are fortunate in that modern medicines make it | | | | and maintain an atmosphere of peace in the room |
| possible to reduce the amount of physical pain a | | | | where someone is dying. It's not very good to have |
| human being has to experience at death. Pain need | | | | people shouting and screaming, waving and crying |
| not be such an overwhelming object of fear. | | | | and tugging and pulling. What does that do to the |
| "I usually reassure a dying person, such as someone | | | | poor person who has this very important thing to do, |
| who has cancer, that they won't be allowed to | | | | to die? They make it very difficult to die peacefully. |
| suffer, that they won't have to endure excruciating | | | | Give those present time to become quiet. It is good |
| pain, that they will be given medicine. They certainly | | | | if friends and relatives are present, people who can |
| should be given medicine to alleviate the pain. An | | | | show by their presence that they care, that they |
| important result of this is that they can relax and die | | | | love, that they are willing to let go, to reassure, to |
| more peacefully. | | | | offer support - that's enough. |