| "Judge not, that ye be not judged." - St. Matthew, | | | | revenge is not a daily theme or way to deal with life. |
| King James Version | | | | They know that hatred is nothing more or less than |
| In October 2006, a lone gunman entered a one-room | | | | a poison or a cancer that eats one alive. Forgiveness |
| Amish school in rural Lancaster County, Pennsylvania | | | | is what allows one to cope and move forward. |
| and killed 10 girls (five others were hospitalized). It | | | | Letting go of grudges is what allows them to focus |
| turns out the killer had allegedly molested two young | | | | on the work of their own healing. |
| girls some years earlier; what is also known factually | | | | The Buddhists speak often of compassion. Not a |
| is that he had a young daughter who had died a | | | | compassion that is airy-fairy, soft, syrupy, but a |
| premature death - a death for which he never | | | | compassion that allows one to bear the pain of |
| forgave God. He wanted revenge, and he exacted it | | | | another - to let go of the "me vs. you" struggle we |
| in that schoolhouse. | | | | so often allow to justify our need for getting even |
| What followed is both awe-inspiring to some and | | | | or to exact our pound of flesh, and to legitimize |
| mind-numbing to others. | | | | revenge. |
| Mired in grief over their loss, the Amish community | | | | The Dalai Lama wrote, "According to Buddhism, |
| responded with forgiveness. Folks didn't blame, seek | | | | compassion is an aspiration. It's a state of mind, |
| revenge, run to the nearest law firm to "lawyer up," | | | | wanting others to be free from suffering. It's not |
| rally for gun control or otherwise "act out." Rather, in | | | | passive, but rather an empathetic altruism that |
| their humble and quiet manner, they extended their | | | | actively strives to free others from suffering. |
| hand with compassion and grace to the killer's family | | | | Genuine compassion must have both wisdom and |
| to offer comfort for their own pain and suffering. | | | | loving kindness. That is to say, one must understand |
| They donated money to the killer's wife and children. | | | | the nature of the suffering from which we wish to |
| The killer's family was invited to one of the Amish | | | | free others (wisdom), and one must experience a |
| girl's funeral; and Amish mourners counted more than | | | | deep intimacy and empathy with other sentient |
| the non-Amish at the killer's funeral. | | | | beings (loving kindness)." |
| In December 1998, in Lockerbie, Scotland, a Pan Am | | | | "I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their |
| Boeing 747 crashed killing 270 of the passengers | | | | hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once |
| aboard. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi, a Lybian, | | | | hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with (their |
| was convicted of the bombing. This week (August | | | | own) pain." - James Baldwin |
| 20th, 2009) he is being released from prison because | | | | The Buddhist Monk, Pema Chodrin, says, "In order |
| he has terminal prostate cancer and has just weeks | | | | for us to have compassion for another, we have to |
| to live. Scotland's Justice Minister released him on | | | | have compassion for ourselves." The way we have |
| "compassionate grounds." | | | | compassion for ourselves is not to avoid suffering |
| A recent non-scientific poll asked readers, "Do you | | | | and seek pleasure, but to directly connect to our |
| agree with the decision to release Lockerbie bomber | | | | own pain and suffering, not avoid it, not deny it, not |
| Abdelbeset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi?" 92% as of this | | | | cover it up, not medicate it, not to blame others for |
| writing responded, "No." | | | | it; and then embrace the suffering of others. When |
| My sense is that a majority of rational, decent and | | | | we get in touch with our own pain and suffering and |
| well-minded human beings would view the Amish | | | | work with it, embrace it, learn from it and heal from |
| response, Scotland's Justice Minister's response and | | | | it, we can then love ourselves, truly love ourselves, |
| the 8% who agreed to release the bomber response | | | | and in the process love others. In working with our |
| as what? Stupid? Outrageous? Soft? Liberal? Foolish? | | | | pain and suffering we gain a larger and wider |
| Spiritually inept? Ridiculous? Unbelievable? Unjust? | | | | perspective on life, we become self-less, and open |
| Political posturing , or...? | | | | the door to understanding ourselves and others from |
| Bert Ammerman, whose brother Tom was killed on | | | | a more spiritual, interconnected perspective. We have |
| the flight, said the release of Megrahi would be | | | | a larger view of reality, a view that is not emotional, |
| "insane, immoral, (and) reprehensible." One parent of | | | | reactive, muddied, or defensive, but a view that sees |
| a daughter who was killed described the release as | | | | the oneness of all human beings regardless of their |
| "appalling, disgusting and so sickening." | | | | faults and foibles, regardless of the harshness of the |
| On the other hand, Jim Swire, whose daughter Flora | | | | words or actions." |
| died in the bombing told BBC radio, "I don't believe | | | | Getting to this place of compassion and forgiveness |
| the verdict is right. It would be an abominable cruelty | | | | is one of the reasons we're on the planet - to |
| to force this man to die in prison." A local citizen in | | | | transmute our hate into love. Simple, not always |
| Lockerbie says of the release, "I think partly out of | | | | easy. |
| compassion...he should be allowed out. Life goes on | | | | So, some questions for self-reflection are: |
| and once a tragedy like this is over people pick up | | | | · Do you allow the actions of individuals and |
| the threads of their lives. And they don't forget but | | | | groups to make you angry, resentful, or hateful. |
| they don't dwell on it. Because there's no earthly | | | | Why? |
| point in dwelling on any of this." Finally, "This is just | | | | · What are your greatest fears and why? |
| one little thing that says this is not going to hurt any | | | | · Do you blame others for your state in life? |
| of us for him to be released and go die with his | | | | · Do you have a need not only to get mad |
| family,'' said Caroline Stevens of Little Rock, Ark., | | | | when you feel wronged, but get even? Why? |
| whose son Sandy Phillips, died in the bombing. "We've | | | | · Do you hold any grudges? |
| got to look at one another in a more compassionate | | | | · Do you have a list of folks who have |
| way and not rely on war and revenge and all that.'' | | | | wronged you in life? |
| Tragedy, upset and compassion | | | | · Do you live by an " eye for an eye" |
| So, how do you deal with the upsets, tragedies and | | | | mantra? |
| life's vicissitudes - large and small - that rock, and | | | | · Do you dwell on ways to get revenge on |
| have rocked, your life? How do you deal with those | | | | others? |
| at work, at home, and in everyday life who you feel | | | | · How did you experience revenge, punishing |
| "wrong(ed)" you, treated you unfairly, or damaged | | | | others and "getting even" when you were growing |
| your spirit? Do you seek revenge? Do you lash out? | | | | up? How about compassion and forgiveness? |
| Are you an "eye for an eye" type, looking to gain | | | | · Can you envision a world where |
| your "pound of flesh?" Or are you forgiving, | | | | compassion and forgiveness, rather than revenge, |
| compassionate and understanding? | | | | rule the day? |
| We know the Amish, and the parents, relatives and | | | | "How is one to live a moral and compassionate |
| loved ones of the Lockerbie disaster are not "over | | | | existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the |
| it." We know that pain and suffering can remain in | | | | horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not |
| their hearts. But, do we need to balance hurt with | | | | only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a |
| hate, with revenge, with "getting even? | | | | stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it |
| And for the Amish, the 8%, and those relatives of | | | | must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding |
| the Lockerbie victims who agree with the release, | | | | and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst |
| we ask, "How could such folks forgive a terrible, | | | | of such paradox. One must live in the middle of |
| unprovoked act of violence against the innocent?" | | | | contradiction, because if all contradiction were |
| The role of compassion | | | | eliminated at once life would collapse. There are |
| We know the Amish culture teaches forgiveness and | | | | simply no answers to some of the great pressing |
| placing the needs of others before themselves and | | | | questions. You continue to live them out, making |
| that there is good in any situation. Vengeance and | | | | your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light. |