Humor: On Cafeteria Catholic and...Cafeteria Protestant, an article, by Peter Menkin

This writer of “Cafeteria Catholic, the article”In full Horn & Hardart Automat any of a chain of
has a Protestant friend who picks and chooses fromcafeterias in New York City and Philadelphia, where
her salad what she likes: More tomatoes, maybelow-priced prepared food and beverages were
extra radishes, but not so much green lettuce. At 77obtained, especially from coin-operated
she has a license, one would think. For anothercompartments.
example, she isn’t Methodist, but attends the 
Methodist Church where she can help feed theThis isn’t to imply Cafeteria Catholics are
homeless every month. She is a woman of charity, aorganized. They are not. And they are not out of
good Christian, and God knows she knows her Biblefashion or business.
liking to attend Baptist and Evangelical Church BibleIn an email correspondence with an informed blogger
studies. She also goes with a friend to both Romanon the subject, this comment helped start the ball
Catholic Bible Study and Roman Catholic services,rolling. And let me remind you, this is a serious
where she gets a blessing--not wine and wafer, andsubject for my Toronto based blogging acquaintance,
complains strongly of being denied Communion. Aand this writer agrees. But let’s indulge ourselves
blessing is not enough for her, and that isin some pie. The “Malt Monk”, as he is called
understandable. I consider her a kind of Cafeteriaand who is a cradle Roman Catholic of 50 years:
Protestant.If you are Catholic, you must accept the entire
Yet usually, the real Cafeteria picker and chooser ofTruth; not just the parts that appeal to you. We
religion are called a Cafeteria Catholic. In an effort tomust also accept some of the blame for current
find out more, here is a short article on the Cafeteriaproblems.. because the Church is and will be made up
Catholic by a non-Roman Catholic. Consider thisof sinners.
writer’s observation and research. Consider itI understand and agree with the Magisterium and
amusing as well as telling, for after all, a sense ofAuthority of The Catholic Church that comes from
humor helps when presenting a serious subject. (MayJesus and is passed through His Disciples (Apostles
these words be palitable.)Bishops/Priests) through time.
 I mean, where do people think the bible came from...
In an effort to get to the bottom of the matter, thisit didn’t drop from the sky… it came from the
reporter contacted the offices of two well knownappointed followers of Jesus.. The Royal Priesthood
Cafeteria Catholics, Maria Shriver and Nancy Pelosi.and lineage of our faith.
There was no reply at the time of posting this article.The Church doesn’t make new rules to be
(Maria Shriver is wife of the Governor of California,fashionable with ‘modernism’.
and Nancy Pelosi is the Congresswoman from SanOur good sport, and informed blogger's blog is here: .
Francisco.) Here is a quote from his blog that does what
These were their questions, the same ones to beBritannica fails to do. Malt Monk defines Cafeteria
posed to each:Catholic:
• Do you lead a Eucharistic life, and if so how so?This is an expression that applies to those calling
• Are you a regular Sunday Church goer? Ifthemselves ‘Catholic’ that want to pick and
unable to go Sunday, do you go Saturday evening?choose whatever they like about the faith and
• Is it all right to be a Cafeteria Catholic, as youdecide the breadth and width of each topic.
have self defined your particular inclination of practice
regarding certain Roman Catholic Church doctrine?In recent news; some of the chosen people
• Have you enjoyed Church?(celebrities) are publically calling themselves
• Can you tell us where you worship?‘cafeteria catholics’ and wearing this as a
• What is central in your religious life as abadge of honour. Comments like ‘I consider
worshiper?myself a Catholic in good standing; but I disagree
• Will you tell us what a Cafeteria Catholic maywith a lot of the teachings of the Church’... or
be?‘I don’t believe’... And then they
• What did you have for lunch this week?proceed to spew their narrow minded canned jargon
Here is a definition of cafeteria: “…self-servicethat is emitted by most of these uninformed sheep.
restaurant in which customers select various dishesThey stand in their cafeteria line and take similar
from an open-counter display. The food is usuallyservings from what is processed and served up by
placed on a tray, paid for at a cashier's station, andthe media-celebrity chefs. Or they simply take it upon
carried to a dining table by the customer.” Thisthemselves to decree their opinions.
from the 2006 Encyclopedia Britannica computerSo Malt Monk defines our term.
loaded reference program. Everyone knows
Britannica is authoritative, whereas Wikipedia is by 
someone out there in internet land—lots ofThis reporter meditated on the subject while at
whomever-someones.Church, and by coincidence these words from the
As for Cafeteria Catholic, there was no reference tohymn, “All Who Hunger Gather Gladly”
it. There is reference to: Catholic Recoveries ofresonated as a more serious lesson for religious
Protestant Territories (from Protestantism). Alsopeople of various denominations: “Taste and see
under Cafeteria Catholics is listed Automats:the grace eternal /Taste and see that God is good.