Newly Wed Challenges - Part 9 - Religion

While religion is faulted for many things that ail theadopted.
human race, it is doubtful if there would still be aWhere newly wed spouses have leanings towards
human race as we know it today if it had not beendifferent expressions they may wish to consider a
for religion. Many of the most useful things inthird statement because learning the way of a new
societies across the planet exist because of thereligion together will help in binding them closer
impact of religion in preserving those societies fromtogether. Where religion does not play a role in the
the dawn of civilization. In one way or another, newlylife of either spouse, it will be their concern to find
weds will have to deal with the factor of religion.things that pull them closer together as a couple, like
You may have had a religious component to yourconcern for the elderly or some other form of
marriage, or you may have decided against such aaltruism.
component. Either way, you have taken a religiousConsider also the different views concerning children
stance. Do not be fixed on either stance, becauseheld by the religions involved. Some outlooks are
life, while having constants, also has elements thateasier to work with than others on this subject.
change depending on the quality and character ofPartners should study these differing interests well
your journey together as newly weds. You may gobefore committing themselves and their children to
through periods of being totally devoted to aan untenable stance and where the marriage so
particular religious expression and periods devoid ofrequires, to move in the direction of a stance that
such devotion. Whether its the one or the other yourfavors both parents and children.
marriage comes first and whatever stance promotesOn the other hand, for both traditionalists and
the well-being of the marriage, that is the stancemoderns, religion can be a great source of help
which will embrace your focus.concerning many aspects of life, including marriage.
In some parts of the world religion is everything,Help can come from unexpected quarters particularly
while in other parts of the world is just somethingduring the early stages of a marriage. There will be
else to be accepted or rejected. A traditionalplenty of help, not just from the leadership of
understanding of marriage will often go hand-in-handorganized religions, but from lay people as well, on
with the local religious view of marriage. Wheremany frontiers a new marriage will encounter. Use
traditional religious views have become diluted it maywhatever help is available to fashion the kind of
be more a 'matter of taste' for the newly weds andmarriage you want.
a 'hands-off-taste' may be just acceptable as aShould you decide as newly weds to embrace
'hands-on-taste'. This is something to be remembereddifferent religious expressions then it would be to
if there are any plans to move to another countryyour advantage if the one assists the other to the
because your new local customs may not be 'likebest of his or her ability to be a knowledgeable
home', which does not necessarily mean that folk inpractitioner of those things which promote the
the new location are irreligious, merely that they aremarriage. This kind of approach can help bring the
different.best of both expressions to focus on one thing
Religion can be awfully destructive and rip a marriageimportant to both spouses. Sensitivity of an
apart before it has time to take a breather, or it canextraordinary level will be required to make this kind
be the thing that cements a marriage more thanof arrangement work to the benefit of both newly
anything else! Know yourselves! This dictum is crucial.weds. Where necessary, the advice of skilled
If religion does not play a part in your individual, thencounselors on both sides should be embraced to
don't force it into your marriage. If religion does playfocus on the marriage. The level of sensitivity will
a role in your individual lives, then don't deny it in yourincrease if there are children, natural or adopted, to
marriage, and be absolutely sure as to the impactcrown the marriage. This facet of the marriage will
religion will have on your future children, natural ordefinitely need the help of skilled counselors.