| Good looking, intelligent, personable, self-assured, | | | | hatred is turned on those we supposedly love - the |
| these are important, but if the most important thing | | | | hatred is too painful to hold inside and must be |
| is missing, the relationship could be doomed. Usually | | | | released, usually on the ones nearest and dearest. |
| we are attracted by physical attributes, the most | | | | This is because the "love" we thought we had for |
| obvious being gender, but build, height, hair color - all | | | | each other had been no more than lust and |
| of these count too. Then we subconsciously look for | | | | attachment, not authentic love at all. |
| things that compliment our deficiencies, and that | | | | Authentic love means that we love everybody. And |
| might carry over in a positive way to any offspring | | | | it's not a gushy love; it's more mature than that. It's |
| that might result. It's a biological and psychological | | | | respect, compassion, wisdom - all rolled up into one - |
| process. | | | | and that one thing that is the most important in a |
| If all of this fits, then emotion takes over in the form | | | | relationship is . . . "Unconditional Love." The person |
| of strong desire, and if the relationship proceeds on | | | | who has developed unconditional love will love you |
| track, the desire becomes merely an attachment and | | | | from a deeper level than merely lust or attachment. |
| a clinging if the most important attribute, the one we | | | | This person will love you for the same reason that |
| haven't discussed yet, doesn't come into play. | | | | he or she loves humanity, because they do not set |
| Think about when the desire begins to fade, as it will, | | | | themselves apart from humanity; they are an integral |
| and when the attachment and clinging becomes no | | | | part of it. |
| more than a security thing; then what? This is the | | | | So look for unconditional love in a person; it's easy to |
| point when a relationship will either survive or fail, | | | | spot. And when you spot it, make certain that you |
| depending on the psychological needs of each partner | | | | can respond in kind. This special love, however, is |
| and how strongly they require sensual stimulations. | | | | either in your heart or not, and if it isn't, first |
| Approximately 50 % of marriages fail, and the | | | | acknowledge that it is not there, and then do |
| number of failed relationships, although unknown, | | | | something about it. |
| eclipses that figure for sure. | | | | To do something about it, begin with sitting quietly |
| So the question is; what lengths would you be | | | | every evening for a few minutes and watch the |
| prepared to go to, to insure the survival of your | | | | many thoughts that flit through your mind. The |
| relationship? If I could tell you what was the most | | | | fearful thoughts are the ones that keep you from |
| important thing in a relationship, and that this most | | | | unconditional love, and all you have to do is |
| important thing would almost certainly insure your | | | | acknowledge them as you sit quietly and wait for the |
| relationship's survival, and . . . if it didn't cost any | | | | next thought to appear. Picture yourself on a |
| money (and very little time), would you consider it? | | | | freeway overpass, and the cars and trucks passing |
| This most important thing creates harmony in any | | | | below your thoughts. Don't jump into one and go for |
| relationship between human beings. Without it, we | | | | a ride, just watch them pass below and out of sight |
| sink to our survival instincts of selfish greed, hatred, | | | | without becoming involved. This is how unconditional |
| and confusion about life. This most important thing | | | | love is born, because our thoughts are our "selves," |
| has nothing to do with religious beliefs or ideals; it is a | | | | and as we slowly distance ourselves from our |
| very human element. We could call it love, however | | | | negative thoughts, we slowly distance ourselves |
| love has many faces, and the love we speak of here | | | | from our negative "selves," and when we do that, |
| is not a love where we might love one but hate | | | | the hatred we once had for those we don't agree |
| another, because that "other" could easily become | | | | with softens, and we become unconditionally loving. |
| you someday. If the capacity for hatred remains | | | | This is the way to the strongest relationship possible |
| inside of us, it's only a matter of time before that | | | | - it's the most important thing. |