| One of the impressions I have gained recently in | | | | Coming back to the analogy of the excercise bike, it |
| speaking to Zen friends about practice is a certain | | | | is not the practice of peddling we have to give up |
| attitude towards breathing in zazen. For the sake of | | | | but the belief we are going to get somewhere if we |
| brevity, and just for fun, I wish to refer to it as | | | | do fit. As we give up this belief, (which is underpinned |
| "samurai breathing". I think it has its origins in the | | | | with the fear of failure) we can enjoy just peddling, |
| martial arts. | | | | and in zazen if we give up this belief, we can just |
| The "samurai breath' goes like this: one must push | | | | breath naturally and our breathing includes the |
| down hard on the outgoing breath, concentrating on | | | | breathing of the currawong warbling in the crisp |
| the hara (solar plexus) and in doing so, push aside | | | | morning air. |
| any thoughts, feelings, sensations, that get in the | | | | The "samurai breath" after all turns out to be |
| way, smashing through them like a karate expert | | | | conceptual breathing, a fixed notion of what |
| would smash their hand through a brick. | | | | breathing ought to be, unlike the breath of the Tao |
| If you practise like this, it will give you a considerable | | | | which is open and just comes and goes of its own |
| feeling of power, like winning a contest (with | | | | accord. When our breathing attempts to fit some |
| yourself), and also give you a sense of purpose in a | | | | conceptual pattern of how we ought to breath, we |
| goal-seeking way (like paying off the mortgage). This | | | | interfere with it, and are out of touch with ourselves. |
| type of straining zazen creates a heroic struggle out | | | | The mind/will should take its lead from the breath, |
| of zazen and a sense that you are trying very hard, | | | | rather than the breath taking its lead from the mind |
| but it is ultimately self-defeating. Perhaps it is part of | | | | will. When the mind/will takes its lead from the |
| the process of learning that we have to go through | | | | breath, then the mind/will and the breath are in |
| this struggle before we realise it is not productive. | | | | harmony. When sailing, you trim the sails according to |
| When I see people practising like this, I have a | | | | the strength and direction of the wind, not the other |
| mental picture of someone on an exercise bike | | | | way round. |
| peddling furiously, somehow believing that they are | | | | Aitken Roshi, when he was a student of Soen Roshi, |
| going to get somewhere if only they try hard | | | | asked him "When I do zazen should I use effort or |
| enough. I then imagine someone coming up to them | | | | not?" Soen Roshi replied, "The question reminds of |
| and whispering in their ear, "Excuse me, it doesn't | | | | Joshu's question to Nansen in Case l9 of the |
| matter how fast you peddle, you won't get | | | | Mumonkan - 'ordinary mind is the Tao'". |
| anywhere on that bike. " This is like the story of | | | | Joshu asked Nansen, "What is Tao?" Nansen |
| polishing a tile, believing if only it is done hard enough, | | | | answered, "Ordinary mind is the Tao." "Then should |
| it will become a mirror, or believing that one will | | | | we direct ourselves towards it or not?" asked Joshu. |
| become a Buddha after years and years of zazen, | | | | "If you try to direct yourself towards it, you go |
| rather than realising that we are Buddha right from | | | | away from it", answered Nansen. Joshu continued, "If |
| the very beginning. | | | | we do not try, how can we know it is the Tao?" |
| When I began my zen practice many ago in Japan | | | | Nansen replied, "Tao does not belong to knowing or |
| with Kabori Roshi, I was like the person on the bike | | | | not knowing. Knowing is illusion, not knowing is |
| furiously peddling to get somewhere. I listened with | | | | blankness. If you really attain the Tao of no doubt, it |
| keen interest to other students talking about various | | | | is like the great void, so vast and boundless. How |
| breathing techniques, which I berlieved, if only I could | | | | then, can there be right and wrong in the Tao?" At |
| get them right, would propel me towards realisation in | | | | these words, Joshu was suddenly enlightened. |
| no time. Needless to say, I tied myself up in knots | | | | Mumon, commenting on this said, "Even though Joshu |
| trying to breathe the "right" way, even making | | | | may be enlightened, he can truly get it only after |
| myself sick in the process. After several months of | | | | studying for thirty more years." |
| this, I went to Kabori Roshi and told him about it in | | | | Should we direct ourselves towards it or not? Should |
| sanzen (Rinzai for dokusan). All he said was "Just | | | | we use effort or not? Does Nansen mean just "go |
| breathe naturally". I remember feeling a mixture of | | | | with the flow of the Tao" as this cliche has become |
| relief, confusion and disappointment at his comment. | | | | known, as on some personal growth weekend where |
| How could it be that simple? | | | | everyone lies around drinking herbal tea, looking |
| Kabori Roshi was like the kindly person whispering in | | | | dreamy-eyed and talking about the oneness of the |
| the ear of the stationary cyclist, "Excuse me, no | | | | universe? I remember Aitken Roshi once saying to a |
| matter how hard you try, you won't get anywhere | | | | student, "When are you going to stop going with the |
| on that bike." The message got through a little but, | | | | flow and get into action?" |
| looking back, I wasn't quite prepared to really give up | | | | "Going with the flow" is just the conceptual opposite |
| my belief, that if only I pushed harder, I would get | | | | of "samurai breathing". Dull and complacent zazen |
| somewhere. | | | | with no vitality or resolve, which is more accurately |
| This happens all the way along in zen practice. | | | | going with the flow of Taoist fantasy and natural |
| Teachers keep telling us there is nothing to attain, | | | | therapy mysticism. |
| but we don't quite believe them, even though we | | | | What is the right attitude then with which to breath? |
| may mouth the words to others. In everyday life we | | | | The right attitude is to have no fixed attitude. |
| see people all around struggling to find happiness and | | | | However from a practical point of view it can follow |
| peace, believing it will come when they finally get | | | | certain guidelines. I think of right zazen as like holding |
| what they want, without seeing that this very | | | | a baby in one's arms. You hold a baby gently |
| moment holds all that one could desire. It is easy to | | | | otherwise you will hurt it. You also hold it firmly |
| see this delusion in others, but can you see it in | | | | otherwise you will drop it. Light but steady. Should |
| yourself? | | | | you use effort or not? Try holding a baby. |